friday cute shot

twenty months

Your dad is on spring break this week, which means less work instead of no work, but still some time to relax, and so we've gone to the park the last two afternoons, just the three of us, all the time in the world. You have been scared of things lately, careful, you say, nervous, you climb up the stairs to go to the slide but change your mind and come back down. But yesterday Luca was at the park too, and he is three months younger than you and fast and fearless, and he climbed right up to the top of the biggest slide and slid down into his daddy's arms, and I asked you if you wanted to slide to your daddy like Luca, and you said yes. We climbed to the top together, and I helped you sit on the slide, and you said you were ready, and I gave you a push, and your daddy caught you half way down. 'Gain! And then we did it again, and again.

Today we were going to go to the bigger park that is farther away, but it was six before we left the house and you were meandering, so we went to the close park again instead. I asked if you were going to ride the slide again, and you said yeah! When we got there you climbed up to the top by yourself, but couldn't sit down flat on your bottom with your rain boots on. So I climbed up to help you, but this time I didn't even have to give you a push--you gave yourself a little shove and slid down fast into your daddy's waiting arms. You ran back around, climbed the stairs, there was a space with no railing, careful, careful you said. You climbed the stairs to me at the top, I helped you sit down, I said to give yourself a push when you were ready. You shook your head. I said, Mama doesn't need to push you, you just push yourself when you're ready. You looked at your dad, then you looked at me and said kiss, then I leaned over and you gave me a big smack on the lips and pushed yourself down the slide. You gave me a slide goodbye kiss.

You have been so inspiring to me lately. I watch you and you know exactly what you want at every second of the day, and you are so happy when you get it and so mad when you don't. I know it is my job to temper you, to civilize you, to regulate, to modulate, to teach you to temper your own fire, your own steel, so you can get what you want out of this world. But the passion! The self-regard, the foot-stomping certainty of knowing what you want, keeping those safe is my job too, helping you become your own conduit, conduct your electricity, emit a soft glow, create sparks.

And your electricity feels like a jump start, like if I touch your hair and rub my feet on the carpet I can go off and do shocking things. Demand things of life. Illuminate, be illuminated.

Sometimes I whisper in your ear now, I say, come closer, mama has to tell you a secret. Then I whisper, I love you so much. So much! So much! you squeal. Then, secret. I say, do you have a secret for me? Tell me in my ear. You lean in, you whisper in a soft voice, secret.

march 17, 2011: notes from daycare

Thur. 03/17/2011

Group: Auntie Jennifer, Talia, & Ivy

During circle we always have "hugshops" & Lucy came over to me so I asked her "do you have a hug for me?" She replied "no" but then started laughing and followed it w/ the biggest hug ever!

friday cute shot

ideas about dressing herself

Exhibit 1: Dress on top of mom-selected skirt to create a
ruffled petticoat. Hat with ball puff ear flaps and favorite boots.

A few months ago, before winter started in earnest, I bought Lucy some nice brown leather shoes on a good online sale, thinking that they would be the perfect outside all-around shoes for daycare, since they play in the mud and sand regardless of the weather. She would not wear them, preferring her black ladybug sandals that Gramme got her, and then rain boots.

Oh! the love of the rain boots. At once way too big and now less so, this has never stopped her for a minute.

Exhibit 2: Members-only jacket, swiped from Aunt Wendell at Christmas.
Sunglasses gift from Aunt Wendell and Uncle Austin. Sneakers by cousin Sam.

So far she hasn't rejected any clothes I've tried to put on her (or maybe I've ignored her protests, sometimes it's hard to separate out specific requests from a general desire to stay "naked!" in the morning), but she has started to augment the outfits I pick out with pieces of her own. See exhibit 1. I had her dressed in a perfectly adorable skirt and t-shirt for a coffee shop adventure but then she picked out a dress that she really REALLY wanted to put on. So I helped her, and instead of ridiculous it turned into pretty much the cutest outfit I had ever seen. Then she added boots and her current favorite hat ("balls. ears.") and Voila.

Exhibit 2 is an early example from Christmas in Virginia, if memory serves I think the adults suggested she try on the Member's Only jacket with the cute sunglasses she wouldn't stop sporting, and she's always had a love for oversized men's shoes so Sam's Nikes were an obvious next step.

Exhibit 3 is an experiment in maximalism, She isn't quite at the point of dressing herself yet, so I helped (at her request) with the dress and the shorts, but the other dress worn as a cape and bloomers as a hat were completely her invention. Looking in the mirror, she clearly likes what she sees.

Exhibit 3: Trying on all the clothes mama brought home from the
thrift store, on top of previously selected outfit. Looking at herself
in the mirror. Hilarity ensues. Note the single sock, this is a
common theme. Please do not note the towel and unmade
bed, hopefully by now these fade into the background for you too.

PS. I just remembered that I have discussed the joy of seeing babies in too-large articles of clothing before! So maybe this is yet another thing that Lucy comes by honestly.

friday cute shot

friday cute shot

Do we write this life?

"Oh my heaven, my goodness, do you see it? Do you see it? When we do, when we open our eyes to see the show, there is only one thing to do. There is only ever one thing to do, and without the hesitation of a second thought.

Applaud! Applaud!"

-Karen Maezen Miller